Archer Darke

Okay so lets say I did actually find the perfect girlfriend, someone who felt exactly the same about...

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 00:58:38 +0100

Okay so lets say I did actually find the perfect girlfriend, someone who felt exactly the same about me as I did about her, and loved all the attention and love I would want to give her. Who loved the same things as me, who didn’t drink alcohol or do drugs or like casual sex. Who was essentially like me in almost every way, the perfect fit.

How do I tell that person that I could wake up one random morning and not feel even the slightest bit of anything for her? Tell me that.

archerdarke: Liara. It’s been so long since I’ve spoken to you....

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 17:16:15 +0100

archerdarke:

Liara.

It’s been so long since I’ve spoken to you. So many years have passed, each one as unremarkable as the next. I cannot talk to you from here. But I want you to know that I am always watching.

Yours was the last face to grace my mind as my body was taken apart, atom by atom, in the centre of the crucible’s beam. Yours was the smile that gave me peace as my life came to an end. Yours was the life I sacrificed mine for in the end. I died so that you, and everybody else, could live on.

I was with you, Liara, when you cried. And you cried so much for months after, I sometimes feared you would never stop. You didn’t know it, but I slept beside you every night, just watching you sleep, hoping you were finding peace in your dreams. I laid my hand on your face, knowing you would never feel my touch again, but somehow hoping that I was doing the same within your mind, making you smile yet again.

I watched you smile for your visitors, the well wishers, and could see the sadness behind your joyless eyes. I longed to hold you. I still do, every second, every minute, every day. I was in every room that you entered as you went about your day. I know you were only going through the motions at first, I know that when the tears rolled down your cheeks on occasion, it wasn’t because you spilled your drink, or dropped a plate. It was because you were remembering. I remembered with you, closing my eyes as you closed yours, feeling the pain inside as though it were a tangible thing despite the fact that I am not tangible, not any longer.

I was by the bedside as Dr. Chakwas examined you months later and confirmed what you had been suspicious about for some time. There was a little Us growing inside you. Our own little wing, getting bigger and stronger with every day that passed. You smiled at Chakwas, but could not stop the tears from coming. Chakwas pulled you to her chest and I was grateful beyond measure that she did what I could not. I rubbed small circles on your back as you cried. The bitter-sweet feeling inside me was intense, and I cried along with you, though you could not hear me.

I was there when you gave birth to her, Liara. I watched with joy as she came into the world, kicking and screaming as all babies are wont to do. I had never heard a sound so perfect, nor seen a creature so overwhelmingly beautiful, besides her mother, of course. The squirming bundle of blue was placed upon your chest and the smile you gave her was one that I hadn’t seen in so long I had begun to think I never would. There was happiness in your eyes again and it made my heart soar. I knew that gazing upon our little one had gone some way to mending the broken parts of you and I was glad.

You named her after me, but called her Junior. I liked that. Junior Shepard was a noisy little bundle, but she was our bundle and for a long time I could barely look away from her. I spent almost every moment just looking at her. Counting the freckles on her little face, trying to figure out what she was thinking, whether she was happy. Sometimes I thought that she could see me, you know. She would look straight at me and I would feel my ethereal heart stop. I would smile and she would make gurgling noises in response and kick her feet in the air, her tiny little toes flexing and her little hands grabbing at nothing.

You were and are a perfect mother, Liara. You don’t hear that enough because you never let anybody in any more. Our daughter is testament, though, to how wonderful you are. From the moment she could walk, Junior was you all over. You often pouted and muttered what a terrible idea it was to get her that little spade and bucket, but I knew how proud you were on the inside, despite the fact that the garden was full of holes and Junior needed baths at least three times a day. I laughed along with you both when you bathed her, putting bubbles on top of her head and splashing water everywhere in an attempt to overthrow the ducky overlord who terrorised the other bath toys. I saw myself in our little wing at those times, and pride bloomed in my chest like a beam of pure ecstasy.

You worried about her too much on her first day of school. But you needn’t have, because I was there with her every step of the way. You should have seen her, Liara. From the start she has had the courage of a certain mother who spent her younger years adventuring into deep, dark caves in search of the things that excited her. Junior let nothing bring her down. She was fearless and kind and she made the loyalist of friends. She called them her squad mates, and I knew it was because of the stories you would tell her before bed. I chuckled when I listened to them. You embellished a lot of details, but you made me sound a lot better than I believed I was, so I couldn’t complain.

It has been years now, Liara, and I want you to know that I am happy for you. I know you feel guilty sometimes, having come to love another as you loved me. But I am not coming back, and though you will never leave my heart, I want nothing but happiness for you and our daughter. I was never any good at telling you how I felt, not really, and the time we spent together was short, and filled with violence, fear, pain, and uncertainty. But the moments I spent with you were the most precious I experienced in all the years I lived. Always remember that. She tells you she loves you often, and I can see how she is healing you, bit by bit, filling the void I left behind.

I know that I will always hold a place in your heart, and you, you will always fill mine to the brim. I will continue to watch over you and Junior, but from afar now, as is right.

I love you.

Shepard.

Note: This piece of work belongs to me, Archerdarke.

The music belongs to Bioware.

If you wish to leave me a message please feel free to do so, I’d love to hear from you!

jetgirl78: Favorite Ladylove Kisses: Fingersmith -...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 00:34:19 +0100

jetgirl78:

_{Favorite Ladylove Kisses: Fingersmith - Maud/Sue
Maud: You did it before … for the sake of tonight. We weren’t dreaming were we?}

Okay so I’m trying to do that thing where you make friends or something so here look. Hey, the...

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 23:39:45 +0100

Okay so I’m trying to do that thing where you make friends or something so here look.

Hey, the name is Archer. I’m 22, I live in Manchester, England and I’m an androdgynous female cisgendered lesbian. I’m a proud mother of two fuzzy ferrets who I love to death. I’m straightedge which means I don’t drink, smoke, do drugs or have/want casual sex. I write when inspiration takes me which these days isn’t often. I love animals, eating and napping.

The end.

A rare picture of the rare lesbianicus mohicanupus in her...

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 21:55:00 +0100

A rare picture of the rare lesbianicus mohicanupus in her natural habitat. And her ferret.

Mass Effect: Ashley Comparison by ~Darkwilliam1973 Before: A...

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 18:41:00 +0100

Mass Effect: Ashley Comparison by ~Darkwilliam1973

Before: A soldier who didn’t give a fuck how she looked and was entirely practical about her appearance.
After: Whitewashed male fanservice.

So...

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 00:26:39 +0100

I miss being special. Not to one person, but just in general. I miss the person I used to be before the stupid thing happened. That person wrote beautiful love stories and poems every week. That person had a following, people who loved her and loved the work she did, who made her feel like she was someone worth knowing. I miss having so much to give, because these days I feel like I have nothing left to share. I’m a shell of my former self and that really really sucks.

I miss being a somebody.

theabsenceofme replied to your post: Oh God why are all you people following me don’t… ...

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 00:06:47 +0100

theabsenceofme replied to your post: Oh God why are all you people following me don’t…

Psh, whatever. XD

But is truuuueeee D:

Oh God why are all you people following me don’t you realise I am one of the crappiest...

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 23:33:34 +0100

Oh God why are all you people following me don’t you realise I am one of the crappiest bloggers ever

Rizzles and Doccubus Double Date by ~AixQtLupet Note: this is...

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 23:20:00 +0100

Rizzles and Doccubus Double Date by ~AixQtLupet

Note: this is not my (archerdarke) work, this is the work of the artist named and linked to above this message, please direct all your comments and appreciation to them, not me. Thank you.

This is the code for meeting R&I fans on the street

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 19:17:03 +0100

savedbyrizzles:

Feminist Frequency: Twitter vs Female Protagonists in Video Games

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 11:01:21 +0100

Feminist Frequency: Twitter vs Female Protagonists in Video Games:

iygrittenothing:

femfreq:

Thanks #XboxOne #E3 press conference for revealing to us exactly zero games featuring a female protagonist for the next generation.

— Feminist Frequency (@femfreq)

June 10, 2013

Above is a tweet I made this afternoon in reaction to the fact that none of the games presented at Microsoft’s Xbox One E3 press conference featured female protagonists. Below are some of the Twitter replies to that observation which exemplify the male privilege and male entitlement endemic in the gaming community today. This is also a window into what it’s like to be a female video game critic on twitter.

1. @simplyflyin

2. @A_Hint_of_Shit

3. @Triosem

4. @DavidBostock93

5. @Jamie_Brereton

6. @SethForsman

7. @Beefheart82

8. @AzEHeaD15

9. @NickFuckypu

10. @JLB_esquire

11. @MathiasKaizer

12. @About20Donuts

13. @RogerLateralus

14. @izashid29

15. @BEATandDELETE

16. @B_Razz

17. @twerk_king69

18. @Epsilon_Five

19. @Spyrolic

20. @itwasagoodtime

21. @JerkfaceMcGee

22. @patq911

23. @r0bz0rz

24. @JimPhee

25. @Pootslap

26. @Pokefan1223

27. @Aurini

28. @yutt

29. @HennersQuack

30. @GabeAsterd

31. @MundaBric

32. @DoctorWatkins

33. @xTheShad0wZ

34. @GangWarlord

35. @le_mec

36. @coolguyquietess

37. @OldMiley

38. @TheChad118

39. @dodgykebaab

40. @urafaget

41. @BJ_Dickson

42. @Bloodergo

43. @Uneternal

44. @The_Master_E

45. @TheVidyaBoy

46. @danier_san

47. @ReissDJO

48. @mrdizzy

49. @IntelMiner

50. @AliAdelMohamed

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ

Each and every time I read comments like the ones above, I am floored. Even though I know that there are people out there who operate this way, I am continuously baffled by how they don’t spontaneously combust or some shit.

Photo

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 13:14:18 +0100

lostinalittlewonderland: Wish I could have the ‘Heather’ treatment ;) I just think my...

Sun, 09 Jun 2013 01:39:54 +0100

lostinalittlewonderland:

Wish I could have the ‘Heather’ treatment ;)

I just think my life would be complete then - mind you I think my life would be complete if she just smiled at me.

Or laughed - I just adore everything about this woman

Photo

Sun, 09 Jun 2013 01:38:10 +0100

styrofoamtokyo: Heather Peace as a cop and wearing a vest. So...

Sun, 09 Jun 2013 01:30:23 +0100

styrofoamtokyo:

Heather Peace as a cop and wearing a vest. So hot!

Can we all take a moment to appreciate Heather Peace's tongue?

Sun, 09 Jun 2013 01:29:57 +0100

tainted-fantasy:

unf

cjsgoldfish: sorry what

Sun, 09 Jun 2013 01:29:23 +0100

cjsgoldfish:

sorry what

colour-me-cumberbatched: femmeandrogyne: dondadayoh: Okay so...

Sun, 09 Jun 2013 00:56:36 +0100

colour-me-cumberbatched:

femmeandrogyne:

dondadayoh:

Okay so heres something that I feel ppl never take into consideration when using this example- if the cup was full prior, and you poured out half of it, it is totally valid for it to be seen as half empty, and if prior the cup was empty, it would totally make sense that someone would view it as half full. So be aware that past experiences have an affect on how ppl view things and you telling them to “look on the bright side” is just another way of saying “conform to my mindset”.

You are wonderful.

I ALWAYS SAY THIS AND PEOPLE LOOK AT ME FUNNY!

God I am just so awesome at torturing myself oh my days.

Sun, 09 Jun 2013 00:46:09 +0100

God I am just so awesome at torturing myself oh my days.